Saturday, 20 December 2008

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

I know, it's been a while. So how have you been keeping? I hope those reindeer of yours are behaving themselves.

Anyway, it's 'that' time of year and so I thought you might be curious to know what I'm hoping to find in my stocking next Thursday morning. I'm really just trying to make your job a little easier. I've narrowed it down to a little list. Here goes, big guy.

1. Okay, first up I'd like a new car, though if that's a little awkward to pack on the sleigh, I understand. A Nintendo Wii will do.

2. I wouldn't mind some help with my credit card and overdraft, and by 'help' I mean clear. I'm sure a guy like you has some very good contacts and so if you can schnaggle it so that it's all paid up and sorted, I'd be a really, really happy camper.

3. Santa, I really need a GHD. My cheap-ass Clicks hair-straightener is ruining my hair and I have it on good authority that the only solution is to use a GHD, because that doesn't dry out hair. Please Santa, I've been a good girl (for the most part), oh please can I have a GHD?

4. Now here's one I'm sure you've heard before. Please can you drop off a cute little puppy. I'm sure the cat won't mind. She'll get used to it. While you're at it, I may need a bigger garden. And maybe a dog nanny to entertain the pooch while I'm at work (and pick up the dog poop. Gross).

5. Now Santa, I know you of all people understand the importance of travel and so I'm sure you can guess my next wish list pressie. I'd really love a trip to Ireland. Or New York. I can't decide which spot I'd like to visit first, so feel free to surprise me. Either way, it would be much appreciated.

6. This next one is more of a necessity than a 'luxury'. Please Santa, I need a domestic worker / char / maid / whatever the pc term is. Please send me somebody who will wash my dishes, do the laundry, make the beds, wash windows (and floors) and above all, CLEAN THE TOILET (bleuch!). Please Santa. I'm begging you.

7. If domestic help is too tall an order, I'll make do with a tall, dark and handsome, millionnaire volunteer firefighter with a proclivity for washing dishes, doing the laundry, making (our [hee hee]) bed, washing windows (and floors) and cleaning toilets. But I'm not too fussy. If he doesn't speak any English, that's okay with me.

8. I'd also like a new job. Preferably one close to home, with a huge salary and 'negotiable' working hours (ie. 3 hours a day). Can you swing that?

Okay big guy, I think you have enought to work with. Can't wait to see what you drop off. And don't worry, I won't forget to leave out some cookies for you. No milk though. You know I don't drink that stuff. But I'll leave the box wine next to the biscuits. Feel free to help yourself but please don't polish it all off. We wouldn't want you nabbed for drinking and driving...

Best regards and thanks a bunch,
Fluffy Pink Thing
x o x o x o


Helmey said...

I got your card and thank you!!!

Let me know if any of your list worked out...if so Im going to follow suit next year

charles said...

I hope Santa didn't get too excited when you sat on his lap this year!
Did any of the things on your list end up in a stocking over your stove (I mean fireplace)?

And I'm still wondering about that "Pink Fluffy Thing"???????

Fluffy Pink Thing said...

Thanks Helmey - I got your card too! :) As for the list, I reckon it's a work in progress, so watch this space!

And CharlieBrown, keep on wondering... :)

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