Monday, 27 October 2008

Bring on the Man Buffet

Whew! It's been a hectic couple of weeks but I'm still here to tell the story, so I guess that's something, right? I finished my assignments (and submitted the last one 3 minutes before the cut-off. Nothing like a little drama) and then got stuck into a week long workshop that my company sent me on. Quite interesting - all about managerial skills blah blah blah. Only problem is, it would appear that this little minion is never going to have to worry about a promotion / salary increase / personal growth at work because they practically keep me locked in the dungeon, chained to my PC. Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But seriously, they should've saved their money and bought me a big bottle of wine instead. All the course did was make me feel rather revolutionary. So now I'm mulling my next move. Mutiny, perhaps? Will see. I might just wait till after Christmas.

Anyhoo, in amidst stressing about my studies and work stuff, I also toddled along to my very first (are you ready for this)... (wait for it)... round of SPEED DATING!!! Yes, that's right. Months of nagging from my friends and some curiousity finally got the better of me, and so I signed up. And what a blast! (Though in case you're wondering, no - I'm not married / engaged / in lurve / etc. [So it wasn't that good.]) It was held at a local restaurant, and I kinda expected them to be quite discreet about it (room in the back, secret password, etc). But no. There was a big long table at the front of the restaurant and there sat a Man Buffet of about 12 guys of all shapes, sizes, races and nationalities. It felt like Christmas. I gratefully accepted my glass of complimentary (and much needed) bubbly and sat down across from bachelor number one. Totally psyched. Once everyone arrived, the evening officially started and I proceeded to spend about 5 minutes with each guy. Of course, 5 minutes isn't very long and I pretty much got the same questions from most guys. What do you do? Whereabouts do you live? What's your star sign? Are you married? (Dude, would I be here if I was?!?!?)

The guys themselves were like a big packet of Liquourice All-Sorts. Everything from a plumber to a lawyer. Black, white, coloured and even Chinese. Some quiet and shy. Some not so much. (Joseph, the male nurse from Cameroon, assured me that as a Scorpio he was an ace love-maker, and that he would 'look after me like a lee...eetle egg' [Run!]) But for the most part, the guys were really nice.

There was, however, a catch. 'Seems SABC 3 is doing some doccie thing where they follow a couple of guys around the city, and one of the things they end up doing is speed dating. So on both ends of the Man Buffet sat particularly gorgeous specimens, complete with cameramen, lighting guys and one of those fluffy hanging mike things. So much for discretion. I definitely got the impression that they were there purely for the sake of the doccie and had absolutely no interest in meeting girlies through speed dating, so in that sense, it was a waste of time. Plus, their producer also took part in the speed dating, but I'm willing to bet my right kidney that he was gay, so really - where's the use in that??!?!? (I really hope they don't use any of the footage with me in it. I tried very hard to ruin my shots by talking into the camera. Either way, it'll probably air in June next year, which gives me plenty of time to leave town, change my name and dye my hair a different colour.)

So, after all that, I ended up with a couple of matches, though nothing too mind blowing. Nice guys though, so it's not all for nought. And it's definitely much easier than going on a blind date.




Me and a couple of my new buddies



Some of the lads took the concept of Man Buffet far too literally



The 'No-Shirt' policy threw me a bit, but who was I to complain?



2 comments:

Helmey said...

The title alone almost ran me off...but I stuck it out...

as far as the work thing goes I would start to dress like a pirate...make a statement...

Fluffy Pink Thing said...

Aw Helmey, I'm so proud of you making it through to the end! Thanks!

And I'd be a fool to ignore advice from the world's most awesome ninjirate. So I'm going to dig out the ol' eye-patch and haul my swashbuckling-ass to work on Monday to show those guys a thing or two. Question: Do you think a parrot would be over-kill?

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