Pity party at my place. BYOB.

Exactly one year ago today, I gazed down on Paris from the top floor of the Eiffel Tower and spent the rest of day exploring the vast halls of the Louvre. Magic.

And now here I am, a whole year later... Stuck at work, trudging through piles of crappy work while being driven near crazy by a colleague's squeaky chair noises. What's wrong with this picture?!?! (Oh woe is me...)

It's come to this...

Oh hello Mr President

Its been a really interesting couple of weeks. Not so much on a personal note, but most certainly on a political level. Sorry for the incessant 'state of the nation' waffle but seriously, this stuff is huge!

So the other week, Zuma was told that the fraud and corruption charges against him were unlawful, based on a mere technicality. Yet it was this technicality that resulted in Thabo Mbeki being 'recalled' and now here we are - two weeks since the Zuma hearing and the country has a new president. Wow. President Kgalema Motlanthe has around seven months to get used to his new title before the next elections, at which point Zuma is likely to take his place, but in the meantime, here's hoping Motlanthe can do some powerful, positive stuff. It's been a good start so far. Already we have a new Minister of Health which is a really, really great thing. They booted out Manto Tshabalala-Msimang. She's the alcoholic thief who wanted the nation to combat HIV/Aids with garlic and beetroot. (Yup, she's special.) Thankfully they've replaced Manto with a woman by the name of Barbara Hogan, and hopefully she'll bring the change our health care system so desperately needs. About bloody time. Apparently on the night the announcement was made, the TAC was so happy that some of their members serenaded the new health minister from below her balcony. Sweet! :)

Yup, definitely been a bit of a roller coaster ride in terms of politics over the last couple of weeks. Only time will tell if things are going to get better.

On another totally irrelevant note, my new mobile arrived the other day. It's an HTC Touch and it's a whack-load more advanced than my trusty old Samsung D900. It'll take me a while to get used to the new interface but so far I'm pretty happy with it. It feels like a grown-up phone but I guess at the ripe ol' age of 31, it's about time. Pity I couldn't get my paws on an iPhone - that would've been first prize, and I feel like a bit of a sell-out going with a PC-based device, but what can you do. Whatever.

This is what my pretty little phone looks like... Touch screen, so no keypad. I feel very sophisticated using a stylus, even if it's just for a quick round of Solitaire. (Ooh, loser!)

Is pretty, no?

Anyway, this has been a pretty 'blah' post - sorry for that. Will try to be more entertaining next time 'round.



P.S. I watched the entire Season 1 of Boston Legal over the weekend, and I now have a mini crush on James Spader. Is that normal? Hopefully it'll pass.

The future Mr Fluffy Pink Thing

Ponder this, kids

'Came across this video on Lyndonology and thought it was pretty cool. Check it out. (You may want to grab a cuppa while the whole thing downloads before watching it though...)


Fifty People, One Question: Restored from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

Nice, hey? Simple yet intriguing question and well done. Dig the music.

On a less pleasant but equally entertaining note, I found this story online today. It's about a woman who got tough on her boyfriend when he refused to do the dishes. And by tough, read: she opened up a can of whip-ass on him, throwing in a couple of bites (not the love kind) and a whack in the face with a picture frame, before the big finish which included trying to finish him off with a sword. A SWORD!!! Go large or go home, hey?!? (Relax. Her aim was sucky and she missed.) Yeah, I know it's not supposed to be funny but c'mon! Who hasn't been pushed to borderline postal by these sort of things. Anyway, the (ex?) boyfriend lived to tell the tale and has no doubt since invested in a really good dishwasher.

Who's a good boy then?

Yes. You are, Buddy. Oh yes you are!

This morning, as I was trying to break the land speed record in an attempt to get to work on time (FAIL!) I heard this story on Cape Talk's news bulletin. It was about this guy (called Joe) in the States whose German Shepard saved his life by dialling 911! Hello!

You see Buddy (the pooch) is trained to recognise the signs of a seizure. He then high-tails it (ooh, bad pun) to a specially-designed phone and holds down a keypad key for no less than three seconds. This speed dials 911.

So the other day when poor Joe had a rather large seizure, our boy Buddy rose to the occasion and called 911. And then (get this!) as soon as he heard the operator's voice, he started whining into the receiver!!!!! Joe's number was already registered with the 911 guys because he's apparently prone to big, hectic seizures and so when, the operator heard Buddy's whining on the other end of the line, she immediately despatched an ambulance.

How great is that?!?!?! What an amazing dog! I doubt very much my cat would do the same for me. In fact, she probably wouldn't notice that I wasn't breathing until long after she had finished her kitty chow, at which point she'd probably starting eating my cold, stiff fingers.

Okay, so the dog in this picture is not Buddy, but they probably look the same.
Only imagine this one a little older and playing 'fetch' with 911 instead of a tennis ball.

My political bitch 'n moan du jour

Oh kids, it's on. Right now, our good friend JZ is sitting in Pietermaritzburg listening to the court's verdict on whether or not the charges against him are lawful.

(Little recap: Jacob Zuma, president of the ANC and most likely Thabo's successor as president of South Africa is facing corruption (2) and fraud (12) charges. Zuma wants these charges declared unlawful because the State did not consult him before going ahead with the prosecution. [?!?!?!?] On top of that, Zuma is also facing racketering and money-laundering charges. Nice.)

So yes, everyone is waiting with bated breath to see what happens - especially Zuma's buddies in the tripartite alliance (ANC, COSATU and SACP). Of course, we can't forget the eloquently subtle Julius Malema - president of the ANC Youth League(ANCYL), who has organised a huge party with a line up of bands, streamers and party hats to celebrate an outcome that gets Zuma off the hook. (Yo Julius, didn't your mama ever tell you about not counting your chickens before they hatch? Hmmmm... guess not.)

The court should announce the verdict soon, but I must say, I've got a bad feeling about this. I'm hoping that they won't find the charges unlawful because really, that would be ridiculous! If Zuma is indeed innocent of the corruption and fraud charges then he can prove it to everyone at his trial. But to get off scott-free without a trial - where's the justice in that.

If, however, Judge Nicholson finds the charges 'lawful' then I think there's going to be quite a backlash - especially from the ANCYL. Malema has been so vocal about being prepared to kill for Zuma. Not great. And now that he's gathering a huge crowd and has got all his members psyched up for a celebratory party later today, what's going to happen if things don't go their way.

On the other hand, if the corruption and fraud charges are declared unlawful then what a complete travesty of justice!!! The path will then be cleared for Zuma to take the presidency of the country, in spite of the cloud of suspicion which will never be proved true or false. Sure, there will be those other little charges but I doubt those keep Zuma awake at night.

Hmmm... now we just have to wait and see. Right now the judge is waffling on with lots of legal speak. I wish he'd just cut to the chase and give the verdict.

Anyway, in the meantime, here's an update to Zapiro's cartoon. This one was published this morning. There's been such contraversy over the cartoon and I do agree that it's harsh and blunt. But it's satirical and not racial or gender based. Here's today's version.



Okay, the verdict has been given. Charges proven unlawful.

Crap.

Zapiro for president!

It seems the ANC have their collective knickers in a sweaty knot after this cartoon was published by the Sunday Times this weekend past.



Spot on, Zapiro! You deserve a standing ovation, a big MWAH, a bonus, an increase, an overseas trip and a new iPod for having the balls to put this out there. Seriously, the entire situation is a complete farce and yet these guys are getting away with it. What happened to democracy and people's rights???

I'm pretty sure Zapiro is going to have another lawsuit on his hands because of this, but it's worth it.

Zapiro: 15
Zuma and his cronies: love

Show and tell

My poor little neglected blog... it's been a while. I've spent so much time stalking other blogs that I've pretty much forgotten mine existed. So time for a catch-up. The last few weeks have entailed a couple of 'firsts' for me. Here they are...

My First Fashion Show

Oh-so-Sex and the City! It was Cape Town Fashion Week here recently and a friend had a few comps for the Maya Prass show. So I glammed myself up best I could and sashayed (sp?) over to the Convention Centre. It was just like on TV. In fact, it was on TV! (Well, there were a couple of TV cameras and strange looking [read: German] presenters.) We found our seats (sadly, sans goodie bags. I do love a good goodie bag. Sigh...) and waited for the show to begin. That took a while which gave us ample time to check out our surroundings. Hardly surprising, it was very much a fashion / designer sort of crowd, and some of the outfits people wore were hilarious. (Not talking about the models.) It was really the lads that got dressed up and one particular number a guy wore branded my mind. He wore a shiny sparkly green catsuit thingie that was less than flattering and not particularly manly. Then again, I don't think manly was the look he was aiming for. Ahem. moving on... The show itself was good, though it was over in a flash. But I quite like Maya Prass stuff, though I doubt I'd wear most of it. In all, it was a fun experience - pretty boys and all. Word to the wise, though. A fashion show holds zero prospect of meeting men. Unless you're gay. In which case, wear something nice and double up on the cologne because son, chances are you're going to get very lucky!
Speaking of men, my next 'first'...

My First Blind Date (awwww, sweet...)

More like arggghhhh!!!! Though it really wasn't that bad. It was more the sheer terror of having to meet up with a complete stranger. What if he was a weirdo? Or really short? Or a pig? Or what if he was really hot and thought I was a short, weirdo pig?!?!? What if he got me drunk and tried to take advantage of me? What if he didn't get me drunk and try to take advantage of me? Pressure, pressure, pressure! Well, luckily for me he's really sweet and we had a nice time together. I'm not going to say any more on the matter in case I give said blind date my blog addy in some wine-induced moment of dumb-assness. A girl has to keep some things to herself. But on blind dating, I have this to say - it wasn't that bad and in all fairness it was quite liberating! Definitely like going on a job interview but one where you don't have to sneak the wine! :)

Well that's it for the firsts. I could've sworn there were more but I'm drawing a blank! But it's been a good few weeks. I went on an amazing Feature Writing course last week that left me feeling incredibly inspired! Funny thing is, my company paid for me to go on the course, and now that I've been on it, I'm dying to give up my day job and join the circus. Okay, no - maybe not the circus. But definitely a job that involves more creative writing. This copywriting thing has been fun but I think it's time to get off the ride. Anyway, it was a great couple of days. The workshop was hosted by Les Aupiais and there were about five other women in the class - all of them older than me. It was fantastic to spend a couple of days with such strong, powerful women. It was pretty stressful at times too but I had a great time!!!

Well anyway, enough waffling on that. Here are a couple of pics to end off with.

(Nice. Real nice!)

(This is why I went on that blind date)

Funny like that

This is what I call a cheat post - posting borrowed stuff that I came across via e-mail. But it's funny.



10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES”

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 1- 800-”.
6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space”.
9 You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.





PREGNANCY FAQ

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.




Ha ha! I hope you're at least smiling...

Where are your jeanpants?

Being a blogger myself, I spend quite a bit of time reading other people's blogs. Needless to say, there are many, many brilliant blogs out there that make my little contribution look like, well... crap. I'm so impressed by all the gorgeous designs and so it's inspired me to work on mine. That's the reason why I haven't been posting much - I want to get everything up and running, so I can put my old blog out of its misery. Still working on it... watch this space.

But I just had to blog about something that happened yesterday... Remember a while back I was moaning about my neighbour who phoned to complain about my cat. Well, since then nothing much has changed. He hasn't phoned me since, but I'm sure my kitty still goes into his place. Now that his cats are getting bigger though, they're also getting quite adventurous and the other week I found his male cat in my bedroom. Anyway, what can you do?

So last night at around 7, I was upstairs in my room, trying on stuff that I had bought at the Woolies sale when the most horrific, blood-curling cat screams started up! Half undressed, I ran to the window but couldn't see anything. So I skedaddled downstairs, somehow managing to get back into my jeans by the time I reached the front door. The horrible noises were coming from the bushes in the furthest corner of my little garden, but before I could reach it, I was distracted by the sight of my neighbour on our dividing wall (which is really, really high) dressed in only his T-shirt and jocks!!!! WTF? Now it's not everyday I find a half naked man on my garden wall, but I was brought back to reality by the continuing kitty screams. To cut a long story short, the neighbour found his way into my garden and together we coaxed our respective kitties out. For the record, mine (who's face was bleeding) was miaowing pitifully while his (apparently called 'Heino'!?!) was hissing like some demon spawn. Both kitties were terrified.

By this time, it apparently dawned on the neighbour that all he was wearing was his jocks, and while holding onto 'Heino', he modestly used his free hand to tug his jocks to cover his 'manly bits'. Poor dude! I almost felt sorry for him until he started talking to his cat in a baby voice, 'Shame, did you fall into the wrong garden'. I felt like replying for the cat: 'Fall, my ass. I intentionally entered the garden next door because I am the new tom cat on the block and I kinda felt like pissing off the cat next door. Mwah ha ha ha...' But I bit my tongue.

So that's how my weekend ended. Half naked men and pissed-off pussies. All in a day's work.

Read any good books lately?

Well would'ya look at that... a whole month since my last blog. I'm sorry. 'Just been totally swamped with lots of life stuff. Though that's no excuse...

Anyway, 'found this list thing on Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills' blog and thought it was kinda fun. Take a look:

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Highlight the ones you still want to read but just have not had a chance yet!
5) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them.

1. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
5. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) - Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm - George Orwell
25. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
27. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
30. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses - James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
46. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
51. Little Women - Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch - George Eliot.
56. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
60. Emma - Jane Austen
61. Persuasion - Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
66. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement - Ian McEwan
70. Dune - Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
83. Dracula - Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal - Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession - A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

Cool, there you have it.

By the way, I've just finished reading the latest Marian Keyes - good read! (This Charming Man). If you're into her stuff and haven't yet read it, well, what are you waiting for? :)

Okay, bye for now.